It came to pass, many blogs ago, that I suggested that THE MADAME TUSSAUD WAXWORK of BORIS JOHNSON could be put to eco use and THREADED WITH A THICK WICK. The resulting “GIANT CANDLE” could be deployed to TRAFALGAR SQUARE and used to reduce the London carbon footprint.
Given that BORIS is a LITTLE BIT OF A HEAVYWEIGHT the candle would LAST QUITE A LONG TIME and, as the Boris Candle MELTS INTO THE PAVEMENT it would double as a TOURIST ATTRACTION.
Well at the risk of sounding like the ECO VERSION OF SCROOGE this candle concept could be taken further. For the X Factor hit Oxford St this week when the twins John and Edward watched the OFFICIAL SWITCH ON of the X mas Lights.
But they are all missing the point! For in these eco days of conserving energy – setting Regent St and Oxford St aglow is simply contributing to one GIANT FAIRYLIGHT CARBON FOOTPRINT. So we have come up with a RAZZLE ‘EM DAZZLE ‘EM SOLUTION that would attract KINGS AND CAMELS from ALL OVER THE WORLD.
This is the e-plan for an e-X Factor e-Xmas.
The Christmas lights in London should be SWITCHED OFF.
They could then be replaced BY A GIANT WAXWORK CANDLE NATIVITY SCENE in Trafalgar Square.
The X Factor judges would all become waxwork candles and would make up the FIGURINES AT THE STABLE – with one or two extras to MAKE UP THE NUMBERS . Cheryl for Mary please and maybe Louis for Joseph.
In case of OBJECTIONS TO SIMON COWELL HAVING A HOLY PLACE BY THE MANGER we suggest that his waxwork could be placed on the FOURTH PLINTH in the form of HEROD THE CANDLE.
And, as for Boris … well … clearly … his CANDLE WAXWORK could be rerobed for the occasion … complete with halo he would take the form of BORIS – THE ANGEL GABRIEL.