There’s a saying that LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS A PICNIC which means that life can frequently be a ROCKY ROAD. And cows have certainly had a ROCKY ROAD, or should I say BUMPY MEADOW of late. They have recently suffered a SIMILAR FATE to Madonna. BAD PRESS. In the case of the COWS we think it is UNFAIR as it looks as if all they are guilty of is PROTECTING THEIR CALVES. Even Angus thinks this … and he has just escaped DEATH BY KILLER COW. He was on FAT CAMP with Henry VIII, his OBESE DOG when they had to TAKE OFF for the safety of the FIVE BAR GATE for fear of being TRAMPLED BY A CHARGING COW. For once, Henry VIII SENSED DANGER and PELTED ACROSS THE FIELD dragging ANGUS THROUGH THE COWPATS.
Angus said he COULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD IT HAD IT BEEN A BULL but this was a DOCILE CUD CHEWING BYSTANDER who AMBLED TOWARDS THEM then, at the FLICK OF A HOOF, became a CRAZY BOVINE BULLDOZER. It seems that COWS ARE SHORTSIGHTED and if they SPOT A DOG they think it could be some kind of BURGER EATING PREDATOR.
Ram, Angus and I are concerned that if this LACK OF SYMPATHY FOR COWS UNDER PRESSURE continues then cows could be considered potential contenders for the DANGEROUS ANIMALS LIST. Yet it’s the dogs that GET THEIR GOAT and there is a solution.
The National Farmer’s Union have offered a KEY PIECE OF ADVICE to ramblers, … they say “If you feel UNDER THREAT let the dog go. Your dog will outrun the cattle and you can then MAKE YOUR OWN WAY TO SAFETY.”
It didn’t say whether a human can outrun a cow – there is only one Usain “Lightening” Bolt.
What everyone seems to have missed is this. If cows are SHORTSIGHTED then correcting that could be the ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM. We are suggesting that “SPECTACLES FOR COWS” be designed which would then reassure the VISUALLY IMPAIRED COWS that most walkers with dogs are harmlessly MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS. Who knows, perhaps BOVINE/HUMAN relations could improve to the point where cows could join the likes of Angus and Henry VIII on fat camp – and share the fat free picnic.