I have never been a fan of WOODLAND CREATURES (ANIMAL OR HUMAN) who cause ECO HAVOC.
Nor have I ever heard a trout, a prawn or a pilchard described as “ICONIC” but then I suppose there is ONLY ONE BENSON. Except, should I say, ” WAS” only one Benson. Weighing in at 29 kg, Benson was, until her UNTIMELY DEATH, the country’s BIGGEST COMMON CARP and was voted “BRITAIN’S FAVOURITE CARP” by readers of Angler’s Mail in 2005. But now she has gone to the GREAT FISH LAKE IN THE SKY – poisoned, allegedly, by IRRESPONSIBLE ANGLERS and UNCOOKED NUTS. But the facts could be A LITTLE FISHY.
Tony Bridgefoot (good name for an angler) who owns Bluebell Lakes in Cambridgeshire where Benson swam UP AND DOWN STREAM FOR TWENTY FIVE YEARS said she was “IRREPLACEABLE” and that they were all “ROCKED BY HER DEATH.”
I am now hoping that BENSON WILL BE STUFFED and will travel UP AND DOWN ROADS on the BACK OF A PICK UP with a sign saying “WARNING: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN FISH EAT UNCOOKED NUTS. Angus Burton, though, has pointed out that Benson’s death may not have been caused by BY IRRESPONSIBLE ANGLERS as claimed – but by IRRESPONSIBLE, EVEN JEALOUS, SQUIRRELS. He has a point.