Today I have been reading about RICKY ROBERTS. Ricky is a GUERILLA GARDENER which means that he sneaks out at night and removes dead shrubs, litter and weeds from flowerbeds. He plants wild flowers, lavender, cyclamen and cordyline. Once when the police saw his car laden with giant bags of fertiliser he became a SUSPECTED TERRORIST. Ricky says that gardens LIFT SPIRITS and he occasionally THROWS SEED BOMBS which means that he chucks GRENADE LIKE objects containing seed and soil into INACCESSIBLE AREAS. Then, HEY PRESTO – all kinds of flowers sprout up.
This has given me an idea. I think that SEED BOMBS should be dropped by aeroplanes all over the world so that the planet becomes ONE GREAT BIG FLOWERBED. When I mentioned it to my friend Ram, the Hindu, he said it was an INTERESTING THOUGHT but one that was probably UNREALISTIC.
THOUGHT. Using aeroplanes might not be THE MOST SENSIBLE OPTION because of the CARBON FOOTPRINT. Better just to seed bomb when you feel like it like from the top of the EIFFEL TOWER. I am forming a band of SECRET LITTER DETECTIVES with WARRANTS. This means that if they see someone chucking rubbish about like sweet wrappers or old freezers then they CAN BE ARRESTED on the grounds of CRIMES AGAINST THE EARTH.