Angus Burton has a NEW OBSESSION. He now talks about “space trash” as much as he talks about his dog. He says he WANTS TO BE AN ASTRONAUT when he grows up. He thinks he STANDS A GOOD CHANCE because he is LEFT HANDED.
Apparently only ONE IN TEN people is left handed but SIX OUT OF TEN ASTRONAUTS are left handed so he thinks he was BORN FOR THE JOB. This could be good news for eco warriors. It would be good to set up A TEAM OF ECO ASTRONAUTS called ECONAUTS who could TAKE THE GREEN MESSAGE to outerspace – and back again.
Angus has learnt that in 1965 an astronaut, Edward White, DROPPED A GLOVE and it has been ORBITING THE EARTH at 17,000 MILES PER HOUR ever since. He says it could be the “DEADLIEST GARMENT IN HISTORY”. Since then humans have left 600,000 pieces of rubbish in space – broken up satellites and stuff and, as it is whirring about so fast A HARD BOILED PEA is as dangerous as a 400 lb safe smacking into you at 60 mph. Angus says “can you imagine if that pea was joined by HADDOCK AND SLICED POTATOES it could be a case of DEATH BY GALACTIC FISH AND CHIPS.” Lasers might be able to get RID OF ALL THIS STUFF but they haven’t been properly developed yet so in the meantime we are on a mission to STOP ANY MORE RUBBISH being thrown out into space. When Miss Piggott asked Angus WHERE HE GOT HIS INFORMATION FROM he said that he reads articles by Johann Hari in his dad’s newspaper. Miss Piggott said that Angus READING A NEWSPAPER was more shocking than the news that there is JUNK IN SPACE.
Tags: astronaut