Not since the days of the GREAT SWAMPY – the fearless eco warrior of the 80s (see earlier posts) – has a story made such an impact on me. THE HUMAN SHRUB is a protester who COVERS HIMSELF IN DARK GREEN FOLIAGE and has WON A CAMPAIGN to SAVE A TOWN’S FLOWER BEDS. The council in Colchester had given up looking after the flower beds to SAVE MONEY (allegedly) but a couple of weeks ago THE HUMAN SHRUB took things into his own MUDDY HANDS and CLEARED WEEDS from a planter and transformed it into a COLOURFUL DISPLAY. The SHRUB then made a statement “THE ELECTED POLITICIANS RESPONSIBLE FOR DESTROYING OUR SHRUBS MUST HALT THIS DESTRUCTION WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT.” I think the council were a TAD EMBARRASSED at being UPSTAGED by a HUMAN SHRUB. Councillor Martin Hunt said plans were already in place to plant containers with greenery in the autumn and flowers in the spring. He said THE SHRUB had PUT HIMSELF IN DANGER BY CROSSING BUSY DUAL CARRIAGEWAYS TO WEED ROADSIDE CONTAINERS … and then HE HAD A LITTLE DIG (PUN) and said “AT LEAST WHEN HE WAS OUTSIDE THE TOWN HALL HE WAS AMUSINGLY STUPID.” Nothing stupid about the HUMAN SHRUB in Charlie Tanner’s eyes … he is AN ECO WARRIOR WORTHY OF A CHARLIE TANNER EBE. (This means “eat better eggs” and is awarded to anyone who does anything in the INTERESTS OF THE ENVIRONMENT.
Tags: "The Human Shrub", Colchester